Tendies Park: To The Moon

Welcome to Tendies Park, the amusement park built entirely out of bad financial decisions. Seven rides, one Trading Floor, and a portfolio that only goes down — until it doesn't. Fake money. Real panic. Zero financial advice. THE RIDES Wife's Boyfriend — You YOLO'd the joint savings and he knows. Sprint through the house, vault the furniture, grab every tendie and do not look back. Stonks Jump — Bounce candle to candle toward the moon. Green bars send you higher. Red bars do not. Margin Call — Your gold vault is under siege. Deploy rockets, diamond walls and an ape army, then hold the line wave after wave. HODL the Door — The margin man is knocking. Hold. The. Door. Bear Market — Lights out at the office, and something in here is not on your side. The Pump — Charge down the chart as a bull. Headbutt every trap in the road and keep the pump meter climbing. Goldy Locks-in-Profits — The…